Not for me.

So Wills going off into the Army. He's going to be gone for 3 months in basic training.
His options are to leave now and try to make it back before the babys born, or leave after the babys born and miss the first 3 months of our sons life. I know that going into the army is only going to better him and his ability to provide for a family, but i dont want to be left out.

I dont want to be Susy Homemaker doing nothing but cooking and cleaning. Im never going to be satisfied being a stay-at-home mom. Thats just not the life for me.

I want to be out seeing the world and having a career of my own. Maybe I should join the army.

I really really need to get a job. Or enroll in a school. Im going to lose my mind if i dont. It's kind of difficult to get a job when your almost 6 months pregnant though.

I just dont like the idea of relying on a man. I dont like the idea of staying home with the kids. Not that theres anything wrong with that, It just wasnt how i was raised.
I saw my mom work construction all my life. She would come home just as dirty and sweaty as all the guys ,and i know she worked just as hard, if not harder. She never had a man paying the bills. She always did her fair share of contributing.
So because of this, Im very independent.

Anyway, on another note, We're getting a puppy tomorrow! =)

RE: Caylee Anthony

Now i know there are some sick people in the world. Im not naive. But what gets me is how a mother could do this to their child.
I havent even had my son yet, and already i feel like i could never harm him.

You have a responsibility to your children. They are your number one priority at all times. It sickens me to know that people like this can live with themselves.

Love Story.

I met him the second semester of 9th grade. He was sitting across the room looking cute and making goofy expressions.
"Nice shirt," were the first words i said to him.
Those 2 words were all it took. Will Shotack set my world on fire.

Almost two years later, we're having a baby. Our relationship has taken such a huge turn. We're parents now. We're going to have to raise a child together. I doubt this is something we're ready for, but it was a change for the better.
I do believe if it wasnt for him, i would be going down a very different path in my life. He hasnt made me a different person. Only a better one.

We were made for eachother. He's everything im not. Where i tend to be spontaneous and irrational, he thinks about the outcome of things. Im booksmart and lack a good amount of common sense. He's street smart and can teach me just as much as i can teach him.

Will makes me feel so safe and secure, like he wouldnt ever let anything hurt me. And i truley believe he wouldnt.
Its an incredible feeling to trust someone with your life.

I didnt think i would find love like this at such a young age, But im glad i did.

10 pounds.

I've gained 10 pounds in one month.
Ten whole pounds.

Thats pretty scary to me.

Anyway, I've been reading a book called Pushed. Its really got me thinking more about the kind of birth i want to have.
It talks about women having little to no say in their labor process and i really dont want that to be me.

Doctors administer Pitocin,Oxytocin and other types of medication meant to speed up the labor process often without the patients consent.
They cut epistiomys without even asking.
They induce labor without it even being necessary.
These kind of things scare the hell out of me.

Like i wasnt already scared enough, Now i have to worry about watching the nurses and doctors every move.
But im glad i do know these things now. The books very informative and its important for every woman to know her rights.

Another day. Im so bored with my life. Which i guess i should enjoy. 5 more months and im sure i'll have my hands full.
I want to go to school. I dont know what kind of school though. I need to get my diploma or GED sometime soon.
I want to go to a college, get some kind of degree. I have no idea what to do with my life.
I was enrolled in Cosmotology for some time. I can do hair pretty well, but thats not something i want to do for the rest of my life.
I've considered going into the medical field. Or maybe even studying law. Im not sure.
I really would like to be a journalist. Get a degree in literature maybe?

There are so many options. I wouldnt even know where to begin. Or how.
I could never afford going to a college.
So i would probablly have to settle for some kind of online school or community college.

I should have just finished high school.
That would have been the smartest choice.

17 and pregnant

I never really thought i would be in this situation so young. But i am. I wanted to make something of my life. Go to college. Be a journalist. See the world. Now it seems im going to have other priorities.

Im going to be a mother. The thought is rather terrifying. I barely manage to take care of myself. Im selfish. Im lazy. I cant imagine having anyone be soley dependent on me.

Life is really going to start changing for me.
And im not sure im ready.